Here I am again after a year or two of not posting anything on this crazy blog. It is the night of Thanksgiving and people are in food coma across the United States. Nothing exciting happened today, at least not where I am concerned. It was rather uneventful. I spent the day with friends like I have for the last few years and enjoyed the company. I really don't have much to say but I figured out what my password was after all this time and figured I might as well yammer about something. So I'm done yammering. Good night!

Never let an opportunity slip through your fingers. It doesn't matter if it's journaling stories your elders tell you or taking that job you want so dearly. Life is too short and when it's gone there is usually no way to retrieve it. No Regrets!

Last night I was talking to someone that I hadn't seen in a while and mentioned I was going back to school. They thought that was great and ask what I was taking. I told them Paralegal with a B.A. in Justice and they proceeded to tell me it wasn't worth my time because they had done the same and it wasn't working out. She also tossed in the age factor like doing research in some dusty library full of law books would put me in a hospital bed. Ok, makes all the sense in the world to me.

What is it about some people who will find a reason to throw in the negative when it comes to another person's life? It's like sitting down to a lunch that you are really looking forward to enjoying just to have someone walk up and tell you they don't like eating what you have for one odd reason or another.
Who cares! It's not your lunch, I didn't buy it, pack it, bring it for you to nosh on fool! Shut up and get away from me so I can eat in peace!

So, I had this obnoxious doubt run through my head for about a second after her rambling commentary. I gathered my thoughts, put them back in order, looked at the person and informed them I would do just fine no matter where I went with the degree. It was interesting because it seemed to knock some of the wind out of her "sail of doom".

I feel like I did years ago before I let the doom and gloom crowd rule my world for such a long time. They can take their doom and gloom and crawl back into their caves.

No Regrets!

Ugly purses!

What does a purse have to do with a nightmare? It was big, at least 2 feet wide and 3 feet deep, two-toned green, made from a shiny leather like material and I couldn't keep it from slipping off my shoulder. The guy trying to choke me wasn't as scary as that purse! Mommy!

Music

I realized a few months back that I no longer listen to music like I once did. It seems grief had a profound effect on that part of my soul. All my life music has been important to me and it's time to start making it important again. I think it's time to go perusing at a music store! Who knows what I will come away with!

What is this, some sort of yearly thing? Good grief!

I've been away for sometime.
I'm no longer enjoying my bus rides since I changed jobs and fixed the Jeep.
It's nice to have the car back but after a year of riding the bus I have a bad habit of driving too slow and annoying fellow travelers. You learn to slow down when you have to which more people should try once in a while. I just need to speed up or get back on the bus.
Another Thanksgiving has come and gone with Christmas (in my case Chanukah) riding hard on all our heels!
Just around the corner is New Years and YEEHAW another year!
They finally approved my loan modification and I have another shot at keeping my feet planted firmly on the ground.
I've done a lot of thinking and pondering the last 48 hours and this year is going to be different, I'm going to work on being different. I may have missed the boat the first time but this time I plan on climbing the gangplank and making this life sail!
Now get the hell out of my way I'm boarding the boat!

No regrets!

Long time, no post

Nothing much to say today. Brakes out on car, taking city bus every where and watching the world go by. I rather find it a nice change to get off my duff and walk instead of being transported by four wheels every time I walk out my door.

I've also made the choice to not get the converter box for my television. No more CSI shows and the only channel I get is the local "Christian" station and it doesn't come in all that great either...not that I really want to watch it anyway. So I spend my extra time reading books and trying to get things done around the house. I like it!

No regrets

Happy Anniversary Pete! It would be five years Wednesday, May 21, 2008

"The Dance"

Looking back on the memory of

The dance we shared 'neath the stars above

For a moment all the world was right

How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything

For a moment wasn't I a king

But if I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance

I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

Written by: Tony Arata

Sung by: Garth Brooks

No Regrets!

Dreams

My cousin Barb passed away 27 years ago February 03, 1981. She had just turned 24 less than a month earlier.

Last night she was in a one of the oddest dreams I've had in a while. It seems she was helping me move but the place looked like underground cement halls.
I know we had some conversations in the dream but I can't remember what about. That is alright, I enjoyed the time I spent with her even if it was just a dream.

When we reached our teens we shared a lot of our thoughts and found we had both been jealous of the other growing up. I thought she was doted on and she thought my family was loving and stable. Boy, were we both surprised when we found what the other thought of those ideas.
More on that later though...

I miss her!

No regrets!

On this day...December 15,1989

A Police Officer came to my door and told me my dad had passed away. He had died on December 10 but no one knew for five days. Odd how things like that happen. I remember talking to him not that long before he died. He told me Thanksgiving Dinner had been really nice, I told him that Christmas dinner would be just as nice, too.
The day he passed away there was a major power outage from Homer to Fairbanks. I was in the car with my daughter and we were on our way to mail some packages. The traffic was such a mess though we just went home and I mailed them the next day.
I always said it was his last hurrah to cause a power outage.

No Regrets!

'Tis the Season

Talking to my daughter earlier this evening and the subject of Pete's love of Christmas came up. Always a kid at heart the whole twinkling lights, music and cheer is what made up Pete's personality.
A thought entered my mind that he would be a great "Spirit of Christmas Present" like the one in Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol".
Yes, that is how I picture him...although it's more hot than not. The guy just made me crazy and I won't apologize for that.

Four years and counting.....

Today would have been our fourth wedding anniversary.

The weather is very much like it was May 21, 2003 and I can remember it so clearly as I sit here typing. I even put on the Lucinda Williams CD that I bought right before we were married.
It's pretty ironic really that the album title is "World Without Tears". I haven't listened to it much the last few years and I kind of realize why.
It's not as painful at the moment as it has been in the past though.

I don't understand why things like that happen when someone you love just can't hold on to life anymore but I do understand you dishonor them if you don't pick up and keep going.
You take the goodness they offered while here, plant it in the garden that we call life and let it grow and blossom for the rest of the world to see and admire.

I love you! Happy Anniversary, Poo Poo Honey Bear!

No Regrets!

How I got here or why am I writing this blog.

OK, so I was inspired a few minutes ago and now this, a complete loss of anything that I wanted to say. Maybe it's the CSI show that just started or I'm that easily distracted between the time this blog was created and now.

I was feeling really inspired and thought I needed to say something at that moment. Maybe it will all come back to me shortly.

I really need to stop watching these shows. How much death and destruction can one person watch and not go out of their mind. Not to mention the idea that this is really boring stuff to write about.
You know I started keeping a journal when I was in 10th grade,it was a class project. The teacher never handed it back to us, although I received a half way decent grade from it.

It wouldn't have mattered if she had given it back since at some point it would have been tossed or lost. Probably in some box that was in an unpaid storage unit that ended up with all the personal items sold for non-payment. Some stranger would have been reading my high school bull crap.
I remember sitting there writing in it on New Year's Eve. Why I remember that I'll never know.
That was the year ending 1969. Ah, yes the year that movies are made of and it was a long time ago. Hell, yesterday was a long time ago and 7 p.m. this evening was a long time ago. I was looking forward to this evening but for some reason it kind of went south really fast. It went south because I let people piss me off, I let people piss me off because it's in my nature, it's in my nature because I'm thin skinned, I'm thin skinned because because why?
Because I let people piss me off? Because.....because....because....
What ever the because it's just not worth my time.

Stinking thinking or some things just aren't anyone else's business. It was inherited from a long line of stinky thinkers BUT it's not them it's just me. It might be a gene thing and it might just be my jeans. Maybe it was those bell-bottoms that we children of the 60's and 70's wore...yes, those bell-bottoms! The bigger the bell the better and don't forget to walk on them until the hem was worn out in back.

So what is with the title of this blog? It was something my late husband used to say to me, "if you have regrets than it wasn't worth it" so I have been learning in the last few years to not regret anything. It does no good to anyway, you aren't going to change what you did or what happened. Of course if you did bad things there is a need for apologies, don't get me wrong there. No regrets though!

This dog is snoring...it's my room mates new dog. She's a hoot! The dog not the room mate.
Although the roomie is a pretty decent person. Never thought I could handle another person living here but it seems to be working for the time.

OK, tomorrow is another work day and also *my* Friday so to be fresh and ready (yeah right) for another day of work this tapping on my computer keys must come to an end.

No Regrets!